Jonathan Humble, Features Writer

Doggerel For The Discerning: 'Glad To Be A Dalek'

Glad To Be A Dalek

I'm not your average Dalek,
you know the sort I mean,
all bent on domination;
giving vent to all that spleen.

I like to think I'm different
from other Dalek crew,
who keep emotions hidden
while exterminating you.

I don't agree with killing,
with plans to subjugate.
The Universe is lovely
and I find it hard to hate.

In fact, I've got my own plan;
I'm working from within!
I'm teaching other Daleks
how to knit and sew and spin.

I run a secret workshop
where Daleks can relax
and find their inner Dalek;
get the monkey off their backs.

We try to be creative;
to make things, not destroy.
I run a Dalek choir
learning Ludwig's 'Ode To Joy'.

So if you see a Dalek
in home-knit wool poncho,
don't run off in a panic,
come across and say 'Hello!'

Jonathan Humble's poem is taken from My Camel’s Name is Brian, which was first published by the Tripe Marketing Board.

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